or THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING DOGGED
CAST
AMRITA
SHASHI
ZEENAT
ZUBIN
HARI
WAITER
ACT I
SCENE 1
An apartment in a metro city. Evening.
The room is quite bare in terms of actual furniture. A sofa on the right, a dining table with four chairs on the left. There’s an entry door on the right end, and a window on the left. There are four wine glasses and plates on the table. When required, actors can mime actions involving objects, such as opening drawers.
Amrita is looking out of the window. She gazes longingly, like she would want to go out, but has lost the will to do so. She isn’t looking straight out, rather almost peeping out at an angle so she can’t be seen by the world outside.
AMRITA: [Speaking to herself in a sing-song, dreamy voice] Everybody comes and goes, Destination? Nobody knows. [Hears a knock on the door, rushes and opens it] Shashi… What is this? Of all days you choose to come home late today.
SHASHI: Stupid meeting. Waste of time. [Takes off his tie and sits on the couch]
AMRITA: The food is ready but I don’t know if we have enough wine.
SHASHI: That’s okay. Zubin said they’ll bring a bottle. [Motions her over to sit down with him.] How was your day, Amu?
AMRITA: Much the same as yesterday, I think. But, yeah, I did manage to defrost the fridge while it was empty and before we have leftovers. Don’t go in the kitchen, there’s water all over the floor.
SHASHI: Sure, okay, I won’t. But, did you get any time to work on your script?
AMRITA: Well, I worked on a couple of pages. Not much, but it helped me understand the characters a little better. I don’t know if I’ll keep it all, but… you know…
SHASHI: [Sounding unconvinced.] Hmm
AMRITA: [Defensive] You know how it is, some days it’s one step forward, one step back. On good days it’s two ahead, and one back. I’m no genius.
SHASHI: Genius is overrated. Trust me. It’s doggedness that closes the gap. And you, my dear, are the definition of doggedness. [Jokingly] How doggedly you avoided me the first month of our courtship.
AMRITA: Oh puh-lease, detecting your courtship was like trying to find the pulse on a corpse. You couldn’t have been more vague.
SHASHI: I didn’t want to be pushy.
AMRITA: Did you at least want to be visible?
SHASHI: There’s beggary in the love that can be reckoned, sweetheart. Read the lines, it’s the Bard, not me. You didn’t notice me because you weren’t high on the ever-loving hormones like I was.
AMRITA: [Playing along] I read between the lines, sweetheart. Too little is not the same as too much.
SHASHI: [Deflated] Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.
AMRITA: [Rubs his shoulder and consoles] I’m just teasing, Shashi. I think it’s cute how shy you were. You probably thought you were laying it on thick for me, and haughty, arrogant Me was just too busy to notice you.
SHASHI: You’re not too off the mark. I didn’t think you were haughty, arrogant, but I did find you so deeply lost in your work that I honestly would have given up trying soon. I’m glad you looked up from your desk when you did.
AMRITA: And, man oh man, am I glad I did. A few more years working myself down to a zombie state like that, and I don’t know if I would have survived. [Pretends to shiver] It gives me the creeps to just think about it.
SHASHI: You don’t have to worry about all that anymore. We do well enough. Things are good.
AMRITA: You earn double, so your better half can wine and dine at leisure. [Raises an empty glass to toast] To good money and good work. [He raises another and they clink their empty glasses].
SHASHI: Hear! Hear!
AMRITA: Do you know, it’s almost been a year since we moved here. A year, can you imagine? I lived all my life in just one city, and now it’s a full year in a new place.
SHASHI: Not such a new place anymore, I hope. It must be feeling like home now.
AMRITA: Of course, I know it well enough. I’m no foreigner here, no matter what the local politicians might say. But, still, it’ll take some more getting used-to. I don’t get out much anymore.
SHASHI: [Concerned] You shouldn’t stay cooped in like this through the week. Let’s fix that. Why don’t you find someplace to go during the day – like a library, or some kind of classes? I know you’ve been taking a lot of online classes, so maybe you’d like to try something offline?
AMRITA: [Amrita goes over to the table and starts wiping the tableware] It’s not as easy as that, you know, I don’t want everyone to know I’m unemployed and sitting at home like some overfed aristocrat while my husband goes to work and brings home the paycheque.
SHASHI: But, why in the world would something like that matter? Moreover, doing nothing will lead to some kind of mental atrophy.
AMRITA: I know it, Shashi. Don’t you think I know it? I’m saying so myself.
SHASHI: [Trying to change the subject.] Well tonight should be pleasant. Zubin is a decent chap, moved here recently, he and his wife. So just like us they are two migratory birds.
AMRITA: We’ll see. What time have you told them?
SHASHI: [Looks at his watch] If they’re punctual, they should be here in another fifteen minutes.
AMRITA: What’s the wife’s name?
SHASHI: Zeenat, I think.
AMRITA: And what does she do?
SHASHI: [Evasively] We really haven’t spoken about her. I guess she must be a home-maker. We’ll both find out tonight, I guess.
AMRITA: Well it doesn’t matter. Just make sure you guys don’t discuss work all night. There’s nothing worse than having to listen to people talk about their work.
SHASHI: [Mock outrage] Heavens forbid! Shop talk is not allowed to cross the threshold.
AMRITA: Hey, I’m not kidding.
SHASHI: Oh, believe me, I know. [Bell rings. Both look surprised.] Punctual to a fault, I see.
AMRITA: Let’s get this over with then.
SHASHI: [Shashi opens the door and Zubin and Zeenat enter. Zubin is holding a bottle] Welcome, to our humble home. This is Amrita.
ZUBIN: [Hands her the bottle] Hi Amrita, it’s wonderful to meet you. This is my wife, Zeenat.
AMRITA: [Extends her hand to shake] Hi Zeenat, it’s so –
ZEENAT: [Jumps in to give a hug] Thank you so much for having us over. It’s such a relief to have friends in a new city.
AMRITA: [Taken aback by the hug] That’s really quite alright. We’re glad to help.
SHASHI: I told them what a great job you’ve done getting to know our new surroundings.
AMRITA: I have plenty of time so I used to walk around a lot, though nowadays it’s mostly to the local market and back.
ZUBIN: You can get everything delivered at the click of a button, why bother stepping out, honestly.
ZEENAT: [Angrily elbows Zubin] It’s nice to get out of the house. You won’t understand, but I do. [Takes Amrita’s hand] I just know that with your help I’ll become a local in no time.
AMRITA: Sure, why not. Wine for everyone?
ZUBIN: Yes, please.
SHASHI: Bring it on.
AMRITA: Shashi will you give me a hand with this?
Shashi goes with Amrita to the table, while Zubin and Zeenat sit down on the couch. The two couples can’t hear each other.
AMRITA: [Handing Shashi the corkscrew] She’s a friendly one. I mean, really friendly.
SHASHI: I think that’s nice. And like you said, no shop-talk.
AMRITA: [Uncertain] I guess…
ZUBIN: You’ve really taken a liking to her.
ZEENAT: Maybe I was a little over-eager, but I realllly need to befriend her.
ZUBIN: That badly, huh?
ZEENAT: Let’s not discuss this now.
ZUBIN: I really don’t like doing this.
ZEENAT: Just do your bit for tonight.
Shashi brings over two glasses for them, and Amrita brings two more.
SHASHI: Here’s to familiar faces in new places…
AMRITA/ZEENAT/ZUBIN: Hear! Hear!
SHASHI: … and fresh starts on blank pages.
ZUBIN/ZEENAT: Hear! Hear! [Amrita doesn’t join, in fact the last line strikes some fear in her]
SHASHI: Hey guys, I’m starved. Is it okay if we get to dinner now?
ZUBIN: You read my mind. Ladies, would you agree?
ZEENAT: I’m raring to go. Amrita? [Amrita doesn’t say anything, just nods] I’ll help you set up. [The two women are together at the table now, while the men sit on the couch and chat.]
ZEENAT: I hope I’m not imposing.
AMRITA: Imposing? How?
ZEENAT: I may have come across as … you know … jumping on you for company.
AMRITA: [Pretending] No, not at all. I like that.
ZEENAT: That’s good. The thing is I already feel so close to you that I probably jumped at the chance to make your acquaintance.
AMRITA: Feel close, how?
ZEENAT: Shashi has spoken so highly of you, and how you guys have been settling into your new place so nicely. It’s good for us newbies to know your experience.
AMRITA: [Suspicion begins] So… he’s spoken to you about me?
ZEENAT: [Cautious] Not to me directly… I’ve never met him before. To my husband, who told me. I’ve never met your husband, so how would he tell me? [Walking away] Boys, dinner’s ready.
All four of them sit down to eat. Two women on one side of the table, and two men at two ends. Nobody’s back to the audience. Everybody serves themselves and each other.
AMRITA: Remind me, how do the two of you know each other?
SHASHI/ZEENAT: [Together] School/College [Zubin keeps eating].
AMRITA: [Bewildered, and growing suspicion.] I… meant…
SHASHI: Zubin and I went to school together.
ZEENAT: I’m such a fool, [kicks Zubin under the table] I always get that mixed up.
ZUBIN: Yes, that’s right. Shashi and I went to college together.
ZEENAT: Zubin, darling, you’re such a dodo. You’ve confused yourself. You and Shashi went to school together.
ZUBIN: Yes that must be it. This roast is excellent. [Goes back to eating to avoid the complication].
SHASHI: I was just complimenting Zubin on their nicely matching names – [emphasises the Z sounds] Zubin and Zeenat.
ZEENAT: That was my number one reason for marrying him really. I was like, “Zubin and Zeenat”, “Zeenat and Zubin” we’ll have the catchiest party invitations and name plates ever.
AMRITA: [Sarcastically] I haven’t heard of a better reason to get married.
ZEENAT: [Oblivious] Isn’t it? And I already know what our child’s name will be. Can you guess?
AMRITA: No, I really can’t.
ZEENAT: Zara. Don’t you love it?
AMRITA: [Looks at Shashi, almost accusingly for how these people are] No, I really can’t believe it. [Turns to Zeenat] And if it’s a boy you can call him Zorro. [Amrita, Shashi, and Zubin laugh]
ZEENAT: [Confused] Zorro, no that doesn’t sound very nice.
AMRITA: I was just kidding.
ZEENAT: Oooh… [Laughs animatedly] I get it now.
SHASHI: Zeenat, Zubin tells me you have joined some afternoon classes.
ZEENAT: That’s right! I’ve joined beginners’ acting classes. It’s something I’ve always wanted to try.
SHASHI: That sounds interesting, doesn’t it Amrita?
AMRITA: [Lies] Sure does.
SHASHI: Amrita is quite interested in learning new things. Why, this last year she’s joined dozens of online courses – French, Spanish, Accounting, Programming… really anything and everything.
ZUBIN: That’s quite random… I mean varied.
AMRITA: [Glaring at Shashi for bringing this up] I just don’t quite know what I’m looking for right now. So I’m trying out a lot of things.
ZEENAT: That’s quite alright. I’m in the same situation. I used to do some print modelling, you know like this [Makes a pouty face]. But after this move I’ve lost all my contacts. So, I joined these classes to try something new.
AMRITA: All the way from modelling to acting.
ZEENAT: Just some time-pass really. Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you join me? We can be besties in class together!
AMRITA: [Trying to get out of it] Oh, well, I don’t know. There’s so much –
SHASHI: That sounds brilliant, Zeenat. I think it’s exactly what Amrita would enjoy.
AMRITA: When have I ever mentioned acting?
SHASHI: Well, not acting exactly. But you did want to try writing sometime. This is similar… [Amrita not buying it] allied?
ZEENAT: Oh come on, Amrita. It’ll be great fun. And I’ve read up on the instructor. He’s supposed to be hard as nails but really has a strong track record.
AMRITA: [Looks at Shashi with uncertainty] I’m not sure
SHASHI: I think you should… you must. Come on, you were the risk-taker back in the day.
ZEENAT: Was she really?
SHASHI: Oh boy, I’ve heard the stories. So she was in advertising right? She was known as the fiercest person in any client meeting, getting clients down from their high horses of “I want this, I want that, I want it right now”. Amrita was the youngest creative director in the history of the agency.
ZEENAT: You’re kidding!
AMRITA: [Enjoying reliving the past] I was in the Thirty Under Thirty list.
ZEENAT: Imagine that! Zubin, did you hear?
ZUBIN: [Done with his food] Imagine that. That’s really astonishing. Why did you give it up? [Zeenat again kicks him]
AMRITA: Did I? [Looks at Shashi with contempt] Did I?
SHASHI: We didn’t anticipate that when she moved here with me it would be a challenge finding something else.
ZUBIN: Well the market’s cruel. You can’t ever expect smooth running.
SHASHI: Amrita was such a high-achiever that we thought it would be a piece of cake to restart.
AMRITA: The few places I applied wanted someone with more grey on their heads, or maybe more skin. Nobody wanted to take a creative director younger than some of the copywriters.
ZEENAT: But when you had that magazine article?
AMRITA: Nobody was willing to bet on that. They did want to hire me, just at more junior roles.
SHASHI: They had no vision.
AMRITA: They had no integrity. This is the world I have to live in. Be a young achiever, but be willing to defer to the old. Have a plan, have a career, but be willing to get uprooted on a whim. You want it all, you lose it all. [Gulps down her drink]
[Everyone goes quiet.]
END SCENE
ACT II
SCENE 1
Amrita and Zeenat at an acting studio.
There is also an instructor this time, a man in his 50s.
AMRITA: I don’t think tights were required. It’s not a dance studio.
ZEENAT: Oh, but do you think they won’t teach dance? I hope they do, it’s one of the top three things a good actor requires, hai na?
AMRITA: [Sarcastically] Top three? I think it’s more like top two.
ZEENAT: [Doing muscle stretches very seriously] Yes, top two. Pucca, pucca. Anyway, doesn’t matter if they don’t teach dance here. I’ve trained in Bollywood dance right from school. What about you?
AMRITA: What, dance? No, never really liked it. Unless I’m really drunk. Then the alcohol takes over.
ZEENAT: Yeah, I know how that goes. Zubin has had to carry my shoes, and sometimes me, back home after a lot of parties like that. Hey what do you think of the crowd here? Everyone looks serious, na?
AMRITA: [Looking around] Yes maybe. But, really, I doubt anyone is thinking beyond melodramatic acting, hoping for their chance at acting for some Masti Kool Part 2 kind of movie. They may as well spend more time at the doctor’s clinic than here.
ZEENAT: Sorry, I don’t understand?
AMRITA: I mean, where are the roles for women that go beyond eye candy? Is anyone here really expecting to shake the industry, or just shake their bodies and call it a day? I’d be interested to know what their ambitions are.
ZEENAT: It’s true what you say, but, I don’t know. They have to make a career, just like anyone else. It’s tough to fight expectations.
[Unseen by anyone, the teacher appears, but stays in one corner at the back watching the students]
AMRITA: Yet, sights have to be set higher. If you aim low, show up ready to grab on to the bottom rung, why will you get any better. Just dancing and singing is not [suddenly realises she may offend Zeenat] …I mean, dancing and singing is important, quite crucial actually… if the script demands it.
ZEENAT: I know what you mean. [Earnestly] What are your expectations here, Amrita? How can I make sure I start on the right foot?
AMRITA: I actually am not here to become an actor. My journey is quite different, so I don’t know how to help with that.
ZEENAT: Not here to be an actor? But, why? What will you do here then?
AMRITA: See, I want to be a scriptwriter. I want to tell good stories, and stories that allow actors to give really strong, really moving performances. The script is the backbone of any good film, so I want to focus my skills on that. There are enough actors out there, not enough good writers.
ZEENAT: [Genuinely impressed] Yeaaah, man. I totally agree with you. Writers are the real mai-baap of cinema. But, still, why here? You should be in a writer’s workshop. I’m sorry, but I didn’t know when I invited you that you already had a career in mind.
AMRITA: Please, don’t be. When you invited me I thought it’s a nice way to spend some time out of the house, and also because I feel that getting some grounding as an actor will help me write better characters.
ZEENAT: What they call a holistic view?
AMRITA: Yes, absolutely right. A holistic view.
[They are interrupted as the teacher walks to the front. He is stern, and behaves like a drill sergeant. Everyone hushes up when they see him.]
HARI: [After a long pause] How many people are there in this class?
AMRITA: I counted twelve.
HARI: You counted wrong didn’t you? You’re the thirteenth. Fittingly.
AMRITA: [Flustered at starting off wrong] I mean… yes… thirteen including me.
HARI: If you feel we should exclude you from the count, then I have no objections to that. Twelve people in this class [raises his hand to cut off Amrita who is about to object], which means twelve characters you can study for six hours a week. Can you turn that into award-winning performances? No. Most of you can’t. Maybe three or four of you will turn that into one great studied performance. And, if I’m lucky, one of you will turn that into a lifetime of unbeatable, unbelievable, inexplicable, great performances. Don’t bother looking around. You won’t know who it is. Hell, if I could tell, I’d send the rest of you back home.
AMRITA: [Trying to earn some credit] Sir, how can be become that one great performer?
HARI: It’s too late to change what’s inside of you. Either you have the talent or you don’t. Asking only makes you look … desperate.
ZEENAT: Sir, I think it was a fair question.
HARI: Who do we have here. Speaking out of turn?
ZEENAT: I just want to say that she wasn’t wrong to wonder.
HARI: Wonder away, my dear children. But, don’t wander. I am not a magician, that I can turn someone into a star for the ages. I am here in front of you because I have struggled, and searched, and cried with anguish for years, and I can teach you to do just the same. I can guess what all of you are thinking – you thought this was an acting class, and here I am threatening you with mental torture. But, that’s it. I am bringing the torture to you, so you can understand it, cope with it, overcome it. I am an effing painful vaccine, but you need me now.
[Nobody reacts. They just all look at each other and the floor.]
HARI: Good. I was hoping there’d be no more questions. Today we’ll start with some basic introductions. You, over-eager one, when was the last time you wet the bed?
AMRITA: Excuse me?! I… I…
HARI: I mean, we all have done it. I did it last when I was sixteen. Yes, sixteen. It was because I dreamt of failing my board exams… I ran to the toilet in my dream, to escape the test. And that’s when it happened, in there and out here. When was it for you?
AMRITA: I don’t know… probably when I was a child. I can’t remember. Sometime normal.
HARI: Best of luck channelling normal. Next.
ZEENAT: After my grandmother died. Almost a week after.
HARI: Why so long?
ZEENAT: [Spotlight on her] I was only about twelve. It wasn’t her time. My granny was fit, she used to take me to the park and tire me out playing with a Frisbee. I still remember how hard she tried to get me to throw properly, but I just couldn’t manage the wristwork. And then, one day, she slipped and fell in the bathroom, and I remember her being taken to the hospital, while I stayed home with the maid.
HARI: What do you remember about that day?
ZEENAT: There was an ambulance, and granny was crying. But, it wasn’t because her hip had been broken so badly that she needed surgery to try and set the bone. She was embarrassed that so many people had to come out to help her. It wasn’t the pain, it was the humiliation of causing a disturbance in front of so many so many people. So, when she returned, I tried to act like she’d wanted, unconcerned, almost formal. This is how a mature person behaves, I thought. Be no burden on others, attract no attention, be self-sufficient.
HARI: Then what did you do?
ZEENAT: So I tried to leave her alone, and started doing my homework without her help, having lunch without talking to her about my day in school. I even started staying back in school with my friends, without informing her or my parents. This is what I thought was the way to grow up and be appreciated. So, when she died from an surgery-related sepsis, I gathered all the strength I had in me to keep from crying. I stopped eating and talking for three days, but never cried. When all the relatives were over at our house consoling my parents, I overheard my mother mention that my change in behaviour towards my grandmother after her accident had broken her heart. She thought I was angry with her for causing a scene. Her last words, as I overheard, no one really told me directly, was “Tell Zeenat not to be angry with me.” [All the students gasp or cover their mouths with their hands.] That night I cried. Silently, into my pillow, but I cried. And I woke up in the middle of the night sensing the wetness.
HARI: [After a short pause, in a sombre voice] Why do you tell us today?
ZEENAT: Because you asked me?
HARI: I have no such power over you. Why?
ZEENAT: [Thinks a bit] Because you said this happens to everyone. I just went with it.
HARI: Didn’t you feel embarrassed?
ZEENAT: I didn’t, because this is just my version of something that happens to everyone.
HARI: You’ve put it better than I could ever. Acting is putting on your own version of what happens to everyone. There is no place for shame on stage. We tap into our own feelings, no matter how embarrassing, because our own emotions, and memories, and experiences are the richest source of how we can react to any given situation. And, in turn the audience finds their way to their own memories. And we connect. Not because the same thing has happened to us, but because the same emotion has been stirred in us before. This is the torture that will drive you – mining your best and worst experiences for a way to bring the audience to what you are expressing. This is acting, and this is life. Find the empathy in the character. And… for those of you looking for easy answers, try to achieve what this lady here just did.
END SCENE
ACT II
SCENE 2
Next morning at Amrita and Shashi’s apartment.
Amrita is performing some lines by herself while Shashi reads the paper. She is standing near the couch. Shashi is at the table, reading a newspaper.
AMRITA: [Facing the window and delivering the lines] But, I don’t want to be dismissed this way. I am seeking my destiny, and nobody is going to shake me anymore. [More dramatically] Nobody [Shashi peeks at her from behind the paper but doesn’t say anything]. Life’s too short for me to listen to you any longer.
SHASHI: [Looks at her, then at the window, then back at her] Are you talking to me, dear?
AMRITA: What? Oh, [sarcastically] Ha! Ha! I’m practising something from yesterday’s class.
SHASHI: That’s good. How did it go? Good experience?
AMRITA: Fine I guess, I didn’t really talk to anyone there… except Zeenat of course. The instructor is a real hard-ass. Came in with such attitude, ready to whack everyone with some subtle insult or the other. Actually, not even subtle. To our faces.
SHASHI: Damn, that sounds awful. Isn’t there any other batch you can join? With a different instructor I mean.
AMRITA: I’m not backing out so easily. This guy is going to regret that he underestimated me.
SHASHI: Listen, I think you should be doing this for yourself, not for some sort of comeuppance.
AMRITA: An unknown, has-been, never-ran actor like him needs to know he has to give respect to get it. Nobody gets a free ride, right?
SHASHI: I understand, but don’t let the guy get under your skin. Tell me more about your lessons. Are you doing lines from some play?
AMRITA: He asked us to improvise some typically overdone, hammy lines from movies and deliver them with varying pitches, you know emphasis on different words, different pauses, that kind of stuff.
SHASHI: [Tries it out himself, says the same phrase in different ways] You mean like this?… You mean like this?… You mean like this?…
AMRITA: Yes, but with more lines. It’s an acting exercise, not an acting game.
SHASHI: How was Zeenat doing? Did the instructor get after her as well?
AMRITA: [Sits down with Shashi and pours a cup of tea] Yes, poor girl. She wasn’t ready for that instructor’s plain speak. Naïve thing really, she said she expected something more centred on Bollywood dancing.
SHASHI: I don’t think that was in the prospectus.
AMRITA: That’s not the point.
SHASHI: No? I mean if she had read it carefully –
AMRITA: That’s not the point of the class, it’s an acting class. Why should anyone look for dancing in there?
SHASHI: Well there’s so much of dancing in the movies so I guess that’s why she thought –
AMRITA: [Angry outburst] Dance is dance. Acting is acting. Why should someone trained in one, waltz up to the top of the other class? That’s not fair.
SHASHI: [After a pause] I guess one can find something… mutually useful, interconnected.
AMRITA: [Quiet for a bit] Don’t give her that much benefit of doubt.
SHASHI: Regardless, I think it’s great that you’ve found something that challenges you. This will really help you de-stress [realises it’s stressful already] … or, uh, I mean it’s a distraction, so that’s good.
[Shashi goes back to reading the paper, while Amrita sips her tea slowly while lost in thought]
AMRITA: On weekends like this, don’t you feel glad to have a break from work?
SHASHI: Yes, who doesn’t. I spend all of Friday looking at the clock.
AMRITA: It’s nice, isn’t it, to feel like the week of hard work is going to end with some well-deserved rest? You work ten or eleven hours a day and then you rest. It’s defined.
SHASHI: [Patiently, waiting for the point] Yes, that’s how work goes?
AMRITA: I miss that. I miss the sense of finality about the end of a day’s work. With this… whatever kind of life… there’s none of that. I don’t know when I’m done for the day because my days never really begin. Hobbies come and go in spurts, and what do I do? Sit with a timer? Like chess players? Weekends are the same for me as weekdays, and I should say vice-versa.
SHASHI: You work hard enough. You deserve your time off.
AMRITA: [Annoyed] Don’t you get it, that’s the thing. I don’t work hard at all. I just wait for something interesting to enter my mind and I add it to my list of ways to momentarily escape drudgery. I don’t put in the hours like you do.
SHASHI: But what you do can’t be quantified like that, can it? More hours, more achieved… that’s not how it works.
AMRITA: No, it doesn’t. It works mysteriously. Outside of any control. But, how then do I measure my worth? What is my impact when I’m floating around, directionless, in space?
SHASHI: We could always look for some part-time office work for you, so you get half a day to do your own thing. Maybe some work-from-home opportunities?
AMRITA: No, no, no. I am not going for more interviews. I’ve had enough snootiness.
SHASHI: Yes, I know. Things were much messier than we both anticipated. I’m sorry about that.
AMRITA: You should be.
SHASHI: [Defensive] Excuse me. I said I feel sorry that those were tough times, I didn’t say I’m to blame for that.
AMRITA: You could have planned it better. You could have told your boss that you couldn’t move until I also found something here. Just a little… a little courage and I could have transitioned as [jealously] magnificently as you.
SHASHI: I did try –
AMRITA: Not hard enough.
SHASHI: They said it couldn’t be delayed.
AMRITA: Everything’s flexible.
SHASHI: It could have risked my career.
AMRITA: And mine?! [Shashi is silent] I fell with no safety net. And now people think they are doing me a favour by offering me trivial work for half the pay, because they know that I’m not going to get anything better.
SHASHI: If I had known I’d have done it differently. I would not have asked you to make such a sacrifice.
AMRITA: And yet here we are. [Pause] I was on a fast track in my company, you know.
SHASHI: I know.
AMRITA: I have nothing to show for all the work I put in there.
SHASHI: I know.
AMRITA: I’m attending acting classes with a dim-witted belly dancer.
SHASHI: Hey, don’t get nasty.
AMRITA: But, it’s true. I have to compete with someone who’s probably never seen the inside of a boardroom.
SHASHI: If you aren’t enjoying it, just drop it.
AMRITA: I can’t just drop things like that, Shashi! Were you not listening to me all this while.
SHASHI: Okay, okay. Just try to get some money’s worth out of this class for yourself. It doesn’t matter who’s dim-witted and who’s not. Next class is on Monday?
AMRITA: Yeah.
SHASHI: [Trying to be reconciliatory] I wish I didn’t have to go to office and could go with you to your class instead. [This doesn’t help at all and she exits stage in a huff]
END SCENE
ACT II
SCENE 3
Amrita and Zeenat at the acting studio.
Zeenat is standing and performing, while Amrita sits at the side watching.
Hari is seated on a chair at the front watching.
ZEENAT: Look, all of this is just a misunderstanding. You weren’t supposed to see me there… I mean, all of this is just one big mistake…[steps back] Stop… stop [pretends someone slapped her, cries.]
HARI: [Leans back in his chair] Good, quite good. Now let’s try it with some more veracity. Amrita, get up. [She gets up.] Go to Zeenat…Zeenat stand up. Okay, Amrita you play the role of the psychotic husband. Approach her with menace. Remember nothing she says has any impact on you. Go!
[Amrita approaches Zeenat. She grimaces and tries to act her part but doesn’t look very convincing. They enact the scene with the same dialogue again.]
ZEENAT: Look all of this is just a misunderstanding. You weren’t supposed to see me there… I mean, all of this is just one big mistake…[steps back] Stop… stop
AMRITA: You’ve always made me feel like an insignificant ins –
HARI: Stop, stop. Just stop it. Children, you’ll remember I said veracity. Ve..ra..ci..ty. Sell it, make the audience stop breathing. Try again.
[They resume their original places and try again.]
ZEENAT: Look all of this is just a misunderstanding. You weren’t supposed to see me there… I mean, all of this is just one big mistake…[steps back] Stop… stop
AMRITA: You have always made me feel like an insignificant insect. Never missed a chance to remind me I was not your equal. And now, I can’t – [pretends to slap her]
HARI: What are we doing here? You guys are in your third week, don’t we want to make any progress? Amrita, you seem unable to commit to your character. Can you share the reason why?
AMRITA: I’m trying to get it. I am expressing through my eyes like you said.
HARI: That’s wonderful, but expressing through your muscles without expressing through your heart is not a complete presentation now, is it?
AMRITA: [Defensively] It’s also because the dialogue feels unreal. Who speaks like that when they are murdering someone?
HARI: There’s the real reason. I was anticipating this was the problem. There’s always someone who blames the words. Do you think unreal dialogue cannot be made believable?
AMRITA: Nobody watching will accept this and just agree to go along with it.
HARI: Have you watched a lot of plays, dear Amrita? Have you watched a lot of cinema? Do you think the unreal has remained absent from our better stories? Even the best ones?
AMRITA: [Grudgingly admits] No.
HARI: Remember what I said on the first day. Find the resonance of the lines with your own life, and use that to communicate to the audience. They will believe every word you say – unreal, banal, utterly idiotic, as long as you believe it and expose it in your performance. Think… think of a time when someone made you feel inadequate, feel the indignity of being singled out, of being the rejected one. Feel this when you speak your lines. Deliver!
[They go back to their places. The lights dim around Amrita, she is in the spotlight. She closes her eyes, clenches her hands, and tries to revive memories. We watch as she gets into this character.]
HARI: Okay, go.
[The lights go back to normal, all characters illuminated. Amrita opens her eyes, and she has now suddenly transformed into a savage character.]
ZEENAT: Look all of this is just a misunderstanding. You weren’t supposed to see me there… I mean, all of this is just one big mistake…[steps back, this time reacting with genuine fear]
AMRITA: [Delivering her lines with brute force] You’ve always made me feel like an insignificant insect. Never missed a chance to remind me I was not your equal. And now, I can’t –
ZEENAT: Stop… stop [Amrita actually slaps her. Zeenat tumbles to the floor, gestures with her hand for Amrita to stop] Please stop, Amrita.
HARI: [Realising this is getting a little too real] Okay that’s really good, now cut the action… stop, Amrita!…Stop!! [She finally snaps out of it and stops. Hari rushes to Zeenat’s aid.] That was really something, dear. Don’t you have any middle ground between mild and murder?
AMRITA: [Realising she has hurt someone, but even more so that she has just lost control to an anger within her that’s greater than she had realised] I…I…[almost asking others] what happened, I don’t know. Zeenat… I’m sorry… the scene…
ZEENAT: [Looks shaken, but still trying to be strong] You were carried away by the scene. That was good Amrita, really believable. Wasn’t it, Hari?
[Hari gives a sideways glance at Amrita and then whispers something into Zeenat’s ears. Zeenat nods while looking at Amrita.]
AMRITA: [Suddenly suspicious] What? What are you two talking about?
ZEENAT: Nothing, Hari was just saying maybe you could do with a break for today. This was an intense scene.
AMRITA: A break. Yes, you’re right. I think I’ll step out for a couple of minutes for some fresh air.
HARI: I meant more like taking the day off. Join us in the next class.
AMRITA: [Like a dog, admonished for acting on base instinct] Oh, yes I guess you’re right. I probably exerted enough for one day. Zeenat, if you want we can leave together.
ZEENAT: [Looks at Hari, who shakes his head] I think I’ll stay on. I have some things I need to discuss with Hari. I’ll see you next time?
AMRITA: If that’s what you think is best, sure, next time. [Amrita turns to leave, takes a few steps.]
HARI: [In a low, but audible voice, we hear just the following] Psychotic like her?
AMRITA: [Turns to confront what she just heard] What did you say?
HARI: I said Jonita can now play the psychotic husband’s role.
[Amrita turns back to leave. She is uncertain if he just lied or she misheard. She hears Hari and Zeenat whispering and laughing. She turns, and they immediately stop. Amrita is full of suspicion]
AMRITA: [Defends herself] I just did what you asked, you know.
HARI: Did I ask you to smack her face off?
AMRITA: You asked me to tap into my feelings.
HARI: Tap into and act, not lose control. On stage you never lose control, otherwise what kind of performer are you?
AMRITA: [Long pause as she is lost in thought] Are you going to give me roles for the rest of my life?
HARI: [Puzzled] What?
AMRITA: Are you going to watch my career all through my life and get me roles and take me to the top?
HARI: Why in the world would I? That’s not my job.
AMRITA: [Barely containing her rage, hands clenched] Then shut the hell up, and let me find my own way through this.
Hari and Zeenat look shocked. Amrita is breathing heavily, audibly.
END SCENE
ACT II
SCENE 4
Amrita is at home. It’s after she’s returned from her class and she’s fallen asleep on the couch. She fidgets, trembles, and mumbles, and we know from this that she is having a bad dream. Mumbling sounds like she’s running a race. Carries on like this for 10-15 seconds and then jerks and falls to the floor. Wakes up with heavy breathing, palpitating.
She is disoriented. Gets up from the floor and checks her elbow which was hurt by the fall. She makes her way to the dining table where she pours out a glass of water. She leaves the water to go to the window. She peeks out through the curtains of the window, hesitantly,this time looking down at how high above the ground they are. She seems afraid of the world outside. She clutches the edge of the window with white-knuckled fear and closes her eyes, backs away and goes back to the table and sits down.
There’s a knock at the door, but, Amrita doesn’t get up. She looks at the door and then away. More knocking, but she just drinks her water. Finally the sound of keys as Shashi lets himself in.
SHASHI: [Surprised] You’re right here. Didn’t you hear me knock? [Amrita nods] Well, why didn’t you open the door? [No answer] Amu, are you okay? You look pale. [He puts down his things and walks over to her. He feels her forehead] You’re quite cold, and perspiring. Are you feeling ill?
AMRITA: [Weakly] I’m fine. I just had a bad dream, that’s all.
SHASHI: Bad enough that it’s not left you even after you’ve woken up? [Amrita shrugs] Do you remember it?
AMRITA: I tried, but most of it escaped. But, there’s one part which is still stuck in my head. The most important part.
SHASHI: I hope it wasn’t frightening.
AMRITA: I just remember running through the corridor of a building… not this building… more like a hotel, or an office. [Gets up, starts re-living the dream as she recounts it.] There are doors and doors on either side, fluorescent piss-yellow lighting. At the end of the corridor is a window, a large window, almost down to the ground. [Looks at the window] It’s closed, just glass, no frames. I can’t remember if it is day or night outside. Night I think. And I am being chased, chased but I don’t know by whom. I think by thieves, maybe murderers, assassins. But I don’t know why, I just know I have been running for a while, trying to escape capture. [Shashi puts his hands on her shoulders, but she moves away] I am in an intensely high-adrenaline state, where my brain cannot think fast enough but my body is carrying me on auto-pilot. This corridor is long, but the glass seems like it’s just two steps ahead of me at all times. I have no options, the corridor is almost exhausted and I have nowhere to turn. My body has decided, while my brain is still trying to comprehend, that I am going to leap out. My brain realises this and it’s telling me to stop, that’s certain death, certain death if I jump. But before I know it the glass has shattered, loudly, and I am in flight. Well, not in flight, I’m going down, but I’m swinging my arms like I am hoping to fly, or grab onto something. And I do. Out of nowhere comes this bamboo scaffolding, and I grab on to one of them. It bends under my weight, like plastic or rubber. It bends and slows down my descent. I don’t know where that came from, or if I’m still being followed. I think I’m safe because the last feeling I am left with is not panic, it’s surprise. I woke up just then.
SHASHI: [Dumbfounded.Speaks gently] Amu, are you feeling alright?
AMRITA: I am now.
SHASHI: How long ago was this?
AMRITA: Just minutes before you returned. I was still lost in my thoughts when you knocked.
SHASHI: Of course, of course. It must have frightened the hell out of you.
AMRITA: It did, the couch is probably moist with sweat. But, like I said, I didn’t wake up in panic. I woke up… in awe.
SHASHI: Awe?
AMRITA: You know I’ve never been sporty or athletic.
SHASHI: You don’t even try to catch a ball.
AMRITA: But in this dream I was doing things, physical feats, that are impossibly far from the way I am.
SHASHI: Jackie Chan.
AMRITA: Exactly. How could I be doing all that. And the feeling in me was that I was on auto-pilot. There was so much adrenaline pumping through me that I leapt off a building with no safety net, no idea of what’s out there, just a blind, foolhardy jump.
SHASHI: But, then what else could you have done.
AMRITA: Nothing, I suppose. And which is what I felt in the dream. Chased by a mob, the end of the corridor wasn’t the end for me, there was a whole leap after that.
SHASHI: Of faith.
AMRITA: What?
SHASHI: Of faith. A leap of faith.
AMRITA: Yes, I think so. It must have been.
SHASHI: Maybe starting with the acting classes, you’ve taken a leap.
AMRITA: [Grim, back to reality] I’m not going back there.
SHASHI: Not going back? What happened?
AMRITA: I think they’ll all be happy to be rid of me there.
SHASHI: But, you said you won’t give up on a challenge.
AMRITA: I won’t… give up… [Making an excuse] But I don’t think that was the right place for me to untangle my mind.
SHASHI: But then –
AMRITA: Do we have any wine left?
SHASHI: [Disoriented] Wine? No, I don’t think so.
AMRITA: What’s there?
SHASHI: Just some whiskey I think.
AMRITA: Give me some.
SHASHI: Whiskey? But you hate that.
AMRITA: If I don’t have a choice, well then I must make do with what’s there. [Shashi gets a bottle, pours out some in a glass. About to add water.] No water, just like that, neat.
SHASHI: Let me add some water, or it’ll burn going down [Amrita gestures with her hand that she doesn’t want any] … ice then? [She refuses. He hands her the glass.]
AMRITA: Ever heard the story about the man who makes a deal with the devil to give up his soul in exchange for lifelong success?
SHASHI: Like in that movie?
AMRITA: Doesn’t matter where, you know the gist?
SHASHI: Yeah.
AMRITA: What do you think my soul is worth? [Laughs dryly] Do you think it’s worth anything to the devil?
SHASHI: I’m sure your soul is in good enough condition to be worth a fair amount.
AMRITA: Then I hope this works…[Speaks to the air around her] For any devil out there listening, Mephistopheles or whoever is working today, I am willing, desperately, to exchange my soul for success beyond my wildest imagination. Come and rescue me from this shit situation, and you can have every last drop of my soul. Show yourself. [Silence, they both look around. Shashi looking amused] Show yourself!
SHASHI: Well that’s a pity.
AMRITA: [Genuinely upset] A pity indeed. [Puts her glass down] I’m going to the bathroom, can you refill my glass please.
Amrita exits. Shashi gets her glass and takes it to the table. There’s knocking at the door. He goes to answer it. It’s a worried-looking Zeenat.
SHASHI: Oh hello Zeenat, this is a surprise.
ZEENAT: Hi Shashi. Is Amrita home?
SHASHI: Yes she is. She’s gone to the washroom. Let me get her. [Tries to leave but ZEENAT stops him.]
ZEENAT: No, don’t. I just want to know if she’s alright.
SHASHI: She’s fine. She had a bad dream, but now she’s fine. In fact we were having a drink, why don’t you join us?
ZEENAT: Another time. Did she say anything about the class?
SHASHI: Nothing. Why, did something happen?
ZEENAT: [Trying to speak carefully] She seemed upset when she left, probably overworked.
SHASHI: She didn’t mention anything to me.
ZEENAT: That’s good. I hope she’s gotten over it already. [AMRITA appears at the other doorway. She stops when she realises someone is there. Out of sight of the others she listens.] Listen, Shashi, don’t tell her I was here.
SHASHI: But, why is there any need to be so hush-hush? What’s the matter after all?
ZEENAT: I don’t think she’ll be in the right frame of mind to talk now. I just wanted to check up on her, and I should go now. I’ll tell you over the phone tomorrow.
SHASHI: Please do, I really need to know what’s going on. [ZEENAT nods and leaves. SHASHI closes the door.]
AMRITA: [Enters and pretends she’s not heard anything] Was someone at the door dear?
SHASHI: It was the postman.
AMRITA: [Looks at his empty hands] Brought anything?
SHASHI: [Realising the mistake] Ahh… wrong address.
AMRITA: Oh, I see. [Drops the subject for now] What were we talking about? [Shashi looks lost] Ah, yes, making a deal with the devil. Can you bring me my drink please?
SHASHI: [Goes to get the drink] Wishful fantasies aside, I don’t think you should fixate so heavily on this jobless period. [Gives the drink] This time has been given to you, whether you want it or not. So don’t suffer through it. Don’t think of ways get back to work… do everything you missed out on earlier.
AMRITA: Like what?
SHASHI: Like travel.
AMRITA: Travel? With whom?
SHASHI: Together, you and I.
AMRITA: You think you’ll get the leaves?
SHASHI: [Thinks] You’re right. What about with Zeenat?
AMRITA: [Outraged] Travel with Zeenat? Are you out of your mind?
SHASHI: Why not? She’s nice, and she’s free.
AMRITA: You seem to like her a lot.
SHASHI: [Defensive] I’m saying this for your sake.
AMRITA: Would you survive with her?
SHASHI: She’s a little different from you and I, but she seems to be a pleasant person… happy vibes.
AMRITA: [Repeats the words, exhibiting her suspicion] Happy vibes… makes you… happy
SHASHI: [Mildly annoyed] Come on, Amrita. Don’t hang me for every word I say.
AMRITA: You two didn’t know each other before Zubin joined your office?
SHASHI: I already told you. I met her the first time when you did.
AMRITA: Now that I think back you seemed quite happy around her happy vibes quite early into the evening.
SHASHI: This is ridiculous. You really need to put your mind to more productive uses.
AMRITA: I thought you said I shouldn’t think of ways to get back to work.
SHASHI: I didn’t mean this. Are you trying to ask me if I have feelings for Zeenat?
AMRITA: I’m not asking anything. What is it that you are telling me… or not telling me.
SHASHI: [Genuinely hurt] Is this what you have decided to do with your time now? Question my fidelity? Interrogate my feelings for you? Doubt the truth in our marriage?
AMRITA: [Moved as she sees how hurt he is] I… I… didn’t mean to say any of that. I’m sorry, Shashi. I really didn’t mean to hurt you like that. [She embraces him]
SHASHI: Amu, I know this hasn’t been the best time in your life. But, I’m trying, really trying, to help you through it. Please, don’t doubt my intentions.
AMRITA: I know… I know… I think I’m losing some of my sanity. I am unraveling… and lashing out at others in frustration. It’s not a good feeling to lose control like this. But, I just don’t know how to stop. I have to get back into another job. I have to.
SHASHI: But, why should it break you down so badly until you do? You’re in a chokehold.
AMRITA: I know I am. But I don’t have the strength to fight it. I can see that life demands certain maturities from me that I wasn’t prepared for.
SHASHI: That’s growth. Facing them will reveal your true worth.
AMRITA: [Looks him dead in the eye] Would you have been so sure if our situations were reversed?
SHASHI: [Admits] I‘m not sure.
AMRITA: You couldn’t have. That’s the truth. Because that’s what we’ve all bought into. I don’t know what I’m worth except through the job I’m asked to do, and more importantly the figures I bring home every month. That’s my measure, and that’s your measure.
SHASHI: I think you’re much more than just that.
AMRITA: And so are you. But, should I just go around with a note hanging around my neck saying: “I’m nice, and funny, love action-movies, hate traffic, and overdo it with the wine. Please give me a place in society.” They’ll just say [enacts in a gruff voice] “There are millions of you. What’s so special about you?” And I’ll say “My husband thinks I’m special.” To which they’ll say “Your husband doesn’t get a say in anything outside your marriage. [She gets very agitated in her enactment] You’re worth nothing. You don’t even exist.”
SHASHI: [Hurries to hold her and get her to calm down] Shh… shh… It’s okay. I get you completely. Leave them and leave all this. I got you. [Amrita starts to cry, and slowly goes limp and collapses in his arms. Shashi slowly lowers both of them until they are on their knees, she crying and he holding her and stroking her hair.] I got you… I got you… I got you…
END SCENE
ACT II
SCENE 5
Zeenat is sitting at a table for two in a café. She is waiting for Amrita and looks nervous, fiddling with sugar packets kept on her table. She looks around, expecting Amrita to walk in anytime. She’s not sure what to expect from her meeting. She’s dressed in a nice floral summer dress. After some moments Amrita walks in. She looks quite stressed and tired. She is wearing large black goggles, and dressed in dark colours as well. She sees Zeenat and goes to join her at her table.
AMRITA: I hope you haven’t been waiting long.
ZEENAT: [Nervous, but trying to act normal] Not at all, not at all. I got here just a couple of minutes ago.
AMRITA: Have you ordered yet?
ZEENAT: I thought I’d wait for you. What’ll you have?
AMRITA: Espresso shot. [She takes off her goggles and reveals dark, sleep-deprived eyes.]
ZEENAT: [With shock] Amrita, you look like you haven’t slept in days. What’s the matter? Aren’t you well?
AMRITA: I’m fine. I’ve just been having these bad dreams. But, who doesn’t, right? But life can’t just come to a standstill.
ZEENAT: [Puzzled by what she said] I suppose not. Are you sure you don’t want something with less of a kick, like a chamomile tea, perhaps?
AMRITA: [Impatiently] I’m sure, Zeenat. Why don’t you go ahead and decide for yourself.
ZEENAT: Okay. [Gestures to a waiter, who comes over.] An Espresso shot –
AMRITA: Double shot.
ZEENAT: – Oo…kay, a double espresso, and a lemon-honey green tea for me. Thanks. [After the waiter leaves] Thanks for calling me to meet. I had been thinking about you for some days.
AMRITA: How’ve you been?
ZEENAT: Doing well, keeping busy. How about you?
AMRITA: Me too. Very well. Busy, busy! [Emphasises the words as she is overcompensating]
ZEENAT: You haven’t come to class in a while.
AMRITA: Like I said. Really busy.
ZEENAT: [Unconvinced] That’s good. As long as you have something to do. [Amrita shoots her an angry look] I mean, things can get piled up really fast for all of us, not just you. So it’s great that you’re getting things done.
AMRITA: [Calmer] How’re the classes going? Almost halfway through the course by now?
ZEENAT: They’re going well, we’ve been performing longer pieces, and with more of us together on each piece so as to get an idea of working in an ensemble –
AMRITA: Upscaling.
ZEENAT: What’s that?
AMRITA: Never mind.
ZEENAT: [Moving on] Everybody has to remember their parts and get their timing exactly right. It’s quite intense.
AMRITA: [Nods along] Yeah, I expect to get back to it soon.
ZEENAT: That’s wonderful. But, sooner rather than later is better. It’ll be hard to catch up because there’re so many scenes we’ve memorised over these weeks.
AMRITA: Why don’t you get me a copy of the pages and I’ll work on it at home.
ZEENAT: [Pulls out a set of pages from her bag] I already did that.
AMRITA: [Surprised] Wow, that’s very thoughtful of you. Thank you. [Looks at the fat set] It really is a lot.
ZEENAT: Don’t worry. I can help you. We can meet up again and go through them. It’s easier with a partner.
AMRITA: [Genuinely touched by this offer] You’d take out so much time for me?
ZEENAT: Easily, it’ll be fun.
AMRITA: [Flipping through the pages finds a note attached with a paperclip] There’s a note in here. “Shashi 93741…”. [Alarmed] It’s my husband’s number!
ZEENAT: I must have given you my copy by mistake. I’m sorry. [Looks in her bag for the other set]
AMRITA: But, why do you have my husband’s phone number?
ZEENAT: I took it from Zubin. After that last day in class I wanted to ask you how you were doing. But I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to anyone, so I asked Shashi instead.
AMRITA: [Agitated] I knew it was you at our house that night. You told Shashi about that day? What did you tell him?
ZEENAT: [Leaning back] Nothing in detail. Just that you weren’t feeling well and left early.
AMRITA: Have you been spying on me?
ZEENAT: [Raises her hand like she’s taking an oath] No, no, just that. [Amrita calms down again. Zeenat realises she should change the topic] Everyone in class misses you.
AMRITA: Is that right?
ZEENAT: [Nods vigourously] Yes, they do. Everyone wonders why you stopped coming.
AMRITA: Everyone? Even Hari?
ZEENAT: Hari… well, Hari can be quite an ass, you know. So who cares what he thinks.
AMRITA: I thought you get along with him well. He really admires your natural talent, that was evident from day one.
ZEENAT: Well, I don’t have any reason to dislike him. [The drinks arrive] He’s good at his job, everybody says so. But, I don’t think he was fair to you.
AMRITA: What do you mean?
ZEENAT: I mean, I felt he was being nasty to you, and I didn’t like that. And I’ve told him that.
AMRITA: You’ve told him? When?
ZEENAT: The last day you came to class. After that scene, the angry one. After you left I told him he shouldn’t have been so tough on you.
AMRITA: [Voice raised] You told him to go easy on me?
ZEENAT: [Looks around and lowers her voice] Not in those words. I told him he shouldn’t push you so hard, we all learn at our own pace.
AMRITA: What makes you think I can’t learn at your pace, Zeenat? What is sooo deficient in me that I can’t be expected to keep up with you?
ZEENAT: [Scared and defensive] That’s not what I meant. Not at all what I meant.
AMRITA: And why do you think you need to go around making excuses for me? Do you think I’m a psychopath, just like he does? Blaming me for following his own instructions?
ZEENAT: Psychopath? No! Why would you –
AMRITA: Listen to me, he’s the psychopath… he’s the one who thinks teaching acting is some special magical mystery. It isn’t. It isn’t! Anyone can do it. Baby, if you can do it, anyone can. Believe me. [The waiter has come by to see if everything’s okay.]
ZEENAT: [Near tears] Why are you saying this? I didn’t mean anything bad. I was just trying to protect you. You’re my friend.
AMRITA: I don’t need your protection, or your pity. I can do very well on my own. [Gets up to leave]
ZEENAT: [Grabs Amrita’s hand to stop her] Don’t go, please. Talk to me if you won’t talk to Shashi.
AMRITA: [Stunned] How do you know if I do or don’t talk to Shashi?
ZEENAT: [Crying] Because he’d told me. He told me he doesn’t know what’s going on with you. That’s why he asked me to take you to the class with me. He needed me to get your mind off your job.
AMRITA: [Completely confused now] How… do you know… so much?
ZEENAT: Shashi and I have been friends for years. We know each other from our days in school. He wanted my help to communicate with you. I was just trying to help. I … I really didn’t want things to go this way. But, please Amrita, we are all just trying to protect you.
AMRITA: Protect me! [Ablaze with anger. Jumps up so violently that ZEENAT spills her drink on herself] Zeenat screams in pain. Amrita suddenly embarrassed and worried by her behaviour, tries to leave quickly. The waiter runs after her and tries to get a hold of Amrita as she is just about to walk out. She pulls with all her force and gets free, but loses her balance as she runs off stage. In seconds, we hear a car crash outside.]
ZEENAT: [Dishevelled, rushes out screaming] Amrita! Amrita! Where is she? What was that crash? Amrita!
END ACT
ACT III
SCENE 1
Amrita is at home, sitting on the couch with her legs up. One leg has a plaster cast, and next to her are two crutches. Shashi is sitting at the table working on his laptop.
SHASHI: [Stops his work and looks at Amrita] The evenings have been getting pretty chilly.
AMRITA: [Stares into space] Uh-huh.
SHASHI: Some soup might feel pretty good about now. What do you say?
AMRITA: Hmm.
SHASHI: [Gets up and mimes that he’s looking in some cabinets] Can’t seem to find any packets. Do you know if there’s any left?
AMRITA: No.
SHASHI: “No”, there aren’t. Or, “No”, you don’t know.
AMRITA: Don’t know.
SHASHI: Never mind then. I’ll just make some chamomile tea. Doctor’s orders. [Finds a magazine fallen on the floor] What’s this? Your magazine is on the floor. You must have dropped it. [Picks it up and takes it to her. She takes it from him.] Tomorrow’s Saturday, no waking up early. So, what do you say about watching a movie tonight?
AMRITA: Not interested.
SHASHI: Oh come on. Nothing serious, something funny. It’ll be good to get some laughs.
AMRITA: Whatever you say.
SHASHI: [Knows she’s not enthusiastic, but still tries to stay cheerful] Now you’re talking. Do you want to choose? [Amrita shakes her head] Okay then. No regretting later. [Laughs]. By the way, the office confirmed today that my medical coverage includes both the therapists for you. So we can continue your sessions, no problem.
AMRITA: I don’t need the other one.
SHASHI: [Sighs] Let’s just try her for a bit. What’s the harm. [Amrita doesn’t respond]. You need to work with me, Amrita, please. There’s every way to make things better if you work with me. [Pause] Or, every way to make things worse.
AMRITA: I don’t think I can make things worse than I already have.
SHASHI: You say that. But, we both know that you’ve fallen into a pit that you’re refusing to come out of ever since that accident. You can’t stay like this forever. [Implores] Please, cheer up just a little.
AMRITA: How can I cheer up. There’s no soup. I can’t even pick up my own magazine.
SHASHI: Are you trying to be funny? I hope so, otherwise that’s just nasty.
AMRITA: Nasty… nasty… nas…ty…[Repeats the word slowly and taking apparent pleasure in saying it] Ve…ra…ci…ty… [Giggles]
SHASHI: Sometimes I really do wonder what goes on in your mind.
AMRITA: I do too.
SHASHI: Aren’t we ready to do something about it then?
AMRITA: About what?
SHASHI: About clearing through your issues. I know you’ve been miserable for these last few weeks, probably longer [corrects himself] definitely longer. But I also know that the onset of this phase was after we moved here. Everything changed for you then, and, once again, I am sorry for that. But, since things are what they are can’t we try to remedy them?
AMRITA: I don’t know what the remedy is for how I feel.
SHASHI: Everything’s on the table. We’ll look for a job, better than the one you had. Or you can find a new creative avenue, not acting, [smirks] something less volatile. It isn’t selfish to want to be happy.
AMRITA: Everything about me is selfish. You joke and kid around with me, but I know you’re desperately worried. That’s because of me.
SHASHI: I’m worried because I love you.
AMRITA: I know. And I love you.
SHASHI: So then isn’t that enough?
AMRITA: I’d thought so. But apparently not.
SHASHI: Can’t that be the remedy? Till things improve?
AMRITA: We tried it, and it didn’t take long for me to get here [raises her injured leg a little]. It’s not enough.
SHASHI: [Crestfallen] Well then …
AMRITA: I’ve been thinking of how horribly I behaved towards Zeenat –
SHASHI: I should’ve told you about her. I shouldn’t have tried all that espionage nonsense.
AMRITA: – Zeenat is the closest I’ve come to having a friend in this city. But, I could never stand her. Do you know why?
SHASHI: Because I used her to spy on you.
AMRITA: No, I didn’t know that then. It’s because she reminded me of my past, the kind of people I envied.
SHASHI: You envy her? You called her a twit and a dolt!
AMRITA: She is effortlessly good at what she does, whereas I am what I am because of sheer hard work.
SHASHI: I don’t follow.
AMRITA: As I kid I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. So I never focussed in school, or college, because I had no goal in life. But, some of the others around me were always naturally better at scoring marks than me. They had some inborn clarity that I never did. They were gifted.
SHASHI: But, at work –
AMRITA: Exactly. I became born again when I started work. Suddenly no one knew the right answers any more than I did. Risk, confidence, audacity, all of this paid off.
SHASHI: And now that you are no longer at work, because of me, you have lost all that you built.
AMRITA: No, Shashi, don’t you see? This move and these circumstances are just that… circumstances. The fact is no matter how hard I work, I am always on borrowed time behind any desk. You remember the last job interview I went for?
SHASHI: Was it the one with the digital agency?
AMRITA: Yeah, that one. The guy who interviewed me said they needed someone who could come up with hot and viral campaigns for a mobile generation, and that I appeared more like a philosopher-type, more at home with long textbook-like sentences.
SHASHI: Why that son-of-a –
AMRITA: After so many years of working my ass off on campaigns, I am being replaced by snot-nosed Twitterrati. That’s what Zeenat is to me… someone who can replace me without even trying.
SHASHI: But, you’re talking like you’re past your prime. I mean, my God, we are not even in our thirties.
AMRITA: What can I say, I’m ambitious even here – Thirty Under Thirty to suffer obsolescence. And you know what else?
SHASHI: What?
AMRITA: You know how you say I never noticed you when you were trying to court me?
SHASHI: Yeah.
AMRITA: I noticed you alright.
SHASHI: Oh?
AMRITA: I just didn’t think it was the right time to change my priority from work to a boyfriend. I didn’t want to be distracted away from my goals… I’m sorry, but you should know.
SHASHI: [Shocked and takes some time to assess this] You resent me? For ruining your life?
AMRITA: I resent myself for being a victim to circumstance. I hadn’t achieved the career success I thought I had, since it’s all gone so easily. You didn’t ruin anything, please don’t say that. There are many other big changes that can, and will, come my way, and any one of them can knock me down.
SHASHI: It doesn’t help to think that way about adversity.
AMRITA: Then what will?
SHASHI: [Slowly] I’ve been thinking about that dream you had.
AMRITA: What about it?
SHASHI: The more I do, I realise that it was your own subconscious that was sending you a message in the dream. Take that leap of faith. It’s not all darkness and fear within. There is a voice that’s telling you to jump.
AMRITA: [Tears well up in her eyes, she presses them with her hand to control herself] I want to but I just don’t know how.
SHASHI: I don’t know…[Eureka moment] what if you start a business.
AMRITA: [Scoffs] Yeah, right.
SHASHI: No, I’m serious. Doing something you like, where you’re the boss.
AMRITA: I’m not cut out for it, Shashi. I barely managed in a team. To run a business? I’m not the right person for it.
SHASHI: I think you’re perfect. And I mean for a real business, something where hard work accounts for something. Like a restaurant, or a book shop.
AMRITA: An agency? … [Realises she’s getting carried away] But, I have never even considered a line like that.
SHASHI: Which is exactly why you shouldn’t dismiss it. I think you’d be great. I’ll find out everything about paperwork and that stuff. You just worry about what and where.
AMRITA: Slow down there. I like the energy but … it’s not … I mean …
SHASHI: Listen, I understand this is something that excites me right now, and for you… you need to find your own answers. But, can we at least agree that this means you haven’t exhausted all your options?
AMRITA: I… can’t disagree. [Shashi claps his hands with glee] I can’t see far in this direction –
SHASHI: – and that’s not a bad thing right now.[Goes to Amrita and holds her lovingly] You allowed yourself to get distracted by me, so let’s together get you back on track. [Softly] I just want to be there to help. Please let me.
AMRITA: [Holds him tightly] You do help. Your unending patience with my situation is what keeps me doing.
SHASHI: Didn’t I tell you. Genius doesn’t matter, it’s doggedness that you need. I can try to fix your problems and fail. But, I’ll keep on trying.
AMRITA: Then I suppose I owe it to you to keep trying too.
SHASHI: Yes! Emotional blackmail works.
AMRITA: [Giggles] You know what I feel like doing right now?
SHASHI: What?
AMRITA: Let’s go for a drive.
SHASHI: Where?
AMRITA: I don’t know, let the road find us.
SHASHI: And we’ll look at businesses on the way for ideas.
AMRITA: [Sternly] Just keep your eyes on the road, mister. One accident in a month is enough for me. [He helps her to her feet, grabs his keys, and they head to the door. He stops.]
SHASHI: But, this hasn’t fixed your problem has it?
AMRITA: It cost me a broken leg to agree to listen to you. At least give it time to heal before I can take the next step.
SHASHI: Then promise me one thing.
AMRITA: What?
SHASHI: All we have is each other in this worthless world. And neither of us may have the answers, but just don’t let go of my hand. [They hold hands] Ready to take another plunge together?
AMRITA: Do you think we’ll land on our feet?
SHASHI: Only one way to find out.
SHASHI helps her out of the door and then exits, closing the door behind him. Lights fade out.
END PLAY